Category: Letting Go

Gardening/Happy Place/Letting Go/Strategies for Stress

Where’s Your Happy Place?

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A well-seasoned Hospice nurse took me aside after the staff meeting where I had shared my grief and despair after one of my first patients died. I was a new volunteer Hospice nurse back in the 1980s and had wanted to contribute something meaningful to the world.

“Sadness and grief is always going to be part of this work,” she told me with dead certainty. “The best way to survive yourself is to have something in your life that balances the heaviness – something that brings you peace or joy. Otherwise, you’ll burn out.”

Back then, I found that dabbling with watercolors took me away to a place where I let go and just enjoyed the flow of colors and forms. That, and playing with my rambunctious dog.

Although I only lasted two years with Hospice, I’ve kept this lesson close to my heart for four decades now. It’s what I call my Happy Place. It has a lot to do with our brain hemispheres.

Our two brain hemispheres serve different purposes and work best when one side doesn’t overwhelm the other. The Left-side of my brain is always trying to figure things out. It likes order, reason, logic, systems, analysis, patterns, and predictability. It’s the source of “brain chatter.” The Right-side likes to get lost in time and space. It loves creativity, color, scents, music, and meditation and lives in the present moment. We need both of course.

For a fascinating example of how both sides of the brain function, I recommend “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor. At age 37, this Harvard-trained brain scientist experienced a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain, destroying her ability to talk, read, write, or remember how to function in life. With only the right side fully functioning, she floated in a blissful, peaceful, euphoria. Not a bad place to be!  While her medical rehabilitation focused on returning the physical functions of her left side, such as speaking and walking, it also meant inviting back into her life ego-generated thoughts and emotions. She kept wondering why? What’s good about being able to experience impatience, criticism, unkindness?  Did she have a choice? That, it turns out, was her “stroke of insight.”  It took eight years for her to regain full functioning, but in the process, she learned that we have control moment by moment on how we want to be in the world.

My ongoing challenge is not to get overwhelmed by the craziness of the world. Hard as I try to avoid the discouraging news of politics, erratic weather, human behavior, the recent COVID pandemic, and now, high wildfire danger, it’s always there as a stressful backdrop. So knowing I have a Happy Place where I can let the right side of my brain play, is a godsend. 

When I was deep into writing my eco-novel, Heart Wood, my Happy Place was the twilight of early morning, mug of hot coffee, and hours of immersing myself into my characters and creativity. I miss that a lot.

Now I have my homestead garden. It’s really what kept me sane during COVID.

Who’d have thought that sequestering squash seeds into soil, lifting curlicue cucumber tendrils onto the trellis, or culling over-abundant carrots would soothe my spirits – but it happens every time I step into my vegetable garden.

As I walk down the rows each morning, I exchange greetings with my plants. “My how you’ve grown! Looks like you’re almost ready to share those tomatoes. What do you need? – you seem a little yellow.” Mother Earth provides the music – right now the Black headed Grosbeak fledglings are crying out “feed me, feed me!” Red shouldered Hawks call from the pine tops. Bees buzz into flowers. I always leave my garden feeling uplifted and deeply happy.

I asked a few friends about their Happy Places.

Gardens were top of the list! They also mentioned stand-up paddleboarding on a calm lake, reading in a cozy chair, attending live theater, just sitting quietly on their backyard bench, and meditating.  Every moment can be that “Happy Place” if we remember to pay attention through the lens of our right hemisphere.

What are your Happy Places (or whatever you call it)?  What are you doing when you just lose track of time and are in the flow? Please share by hitting “Leave a Reply.” If I get enough, I’ll share your inspirations in another blog. Thank you!

My eco-novel, Heart Wood,  can be purchased at your local book store and online at Amazon

Heart Wood - An Eco-Novel/Letting Go

Letting Go…Moving Forward

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I took a break from blogging over the last few months for no reason other than it was time for a break. The last time I wrote I was planting seeds in my garden and musing over my next writing project. Five months later, my garden is in overdrive giving me daily baskets of tomatoes, basil, peppers, eggplant, squash, and bouquets of flowers, and I have chosen my next writing project. Life moves on….

Most recently, I’ve been practicing letting go. It seems to be the work of my mid-70s. By nature, I’m a saver – just ask my husband about my shelves of uniquely-shaped boxes, glass jars, seed packets, vases, old jewelry, and family memorabilia. Some things will be easy for my family to toss when I’m gone, but I should pass on other things now while I can do so with care.

A vase for everything, and everything in it’s vase

I recently opened my jewelry boxes and invited my teenage granddaughters to select anything they’d like (with a few exceptions). There were a few pieces I had to take a deep breath and let go of but knowing how much I love having my great-grandmother’s amethyst broach, I gave the jewelry my blessing and passed them on.

It took the threat of fire for me to let go of other things. Wildfires are an almost year-round threat here in the Northern California Sierra (and in a scary way, for more and more of the world). We have “Go-Bags” packed by the door with valuable papers, clothing, food, and water.  But my drawer of family history artifacts? No room. That’s when I decided to start giving them away for posterity’s safe keeping.

The first to go was my Great-Grandmother Emily Hoppin’s personal scrapbook from 1870s-1915. If you followed my blogs and website, you know how much I loved using it for my novel Heart Wood. Before leaving on vacation this June, I presented her fragile scrapbook to the Yolo County Historical Archives. It was a fair trade because they had digitalized the entire scrapbook for me earlier, so I have it on my computer for continued research of my next book and they have it in their database.

The personal scrapbook of Emily Anna Bacon Hoppin 1854-1915

The second album was the history of my Grandfather Charles Jensen’s Botanical Garden in Carmichael, near Sacramento, CA. After retiring in 1958, he and grandma converted three acres of blackberries into a park-like garden. After their death, the Carmichael Park District bought it in 1976 and created The Jensen Botanical Garden, lovingly tending it as a public park known as “The Jewel of Carmichael.” I recently gave them my family scrapbook of historic news clippings for their records.

My grandfather, Charles Jensen in his garden, 1974

And last, after a recent fall and broken bones in my left foot, I’ve had more than enough time to practice letting go. It’s humbling not to be able to get up and do what needs to be done, but to have to sit back and ask for help. I’m learning to let go of having a tidy house, of zipping up and down flights of stairs, of walking up the hill to my garden. In exchange, I’m learning patience and gratitude for my husband’s endless generosity (and his cooking!)

I’ll write about my next writing project in the near future. In the meantime, Heart Wood can now be purchased in Sierra County at the Sierra County Art’s Council Gallery in Downieville, the Kentucky Mine Historic Park and Museum, and the Sierra Mercantile in Sierra City, as well as ordered from your local bookstore or on Amazon.